The Night He Chose Me Again

Regular Coaching:

Hi Paulina,

I had manifested my specific person, and for a little while I thought I had finally won. But within a few weeks, things started changing in a way that I didn’t appreciate.

He became distant and strangely apathetic. He wanted to go out on his own all the time, spend time with other women, and rarely seemed excited to include me in his life.

When I tried to talk about it, he told me that I already knew he didn’t like feeling restricted, and if I wasn’t happy with who he was, maybe we shouldn’t be together. He didn’t say this in a way that looked like he didn’t want to lose me. In fact, is like he was waiting for me to break up with him.

I didn’t understand how he was being the sweetest boyfriend when I first manifested him to commit. And now, even if he was still calling me babe, his actions looked like he just wanted me gone.

I remember sitting there thinking, How can someone say that so calmly when I’m hurting this much? How could he not see how much I loved him?

I did not want to go through a break up. I felt like after all the effort and time it took to get this relationship, I wouldn’t be able to handle losing him.  I told him I understood. I tried to be the cool girlfriend. I backed off, acted supportive, and pretended I was okay.

I wasn’t okay, at all. I felt lonely even though I was technically in the relationship I had wanted so badly. The emotional connection was gone.

What brought me to coaching was not just the fear of losing him. It was the feeling of being trapped. It felt like a break up was inevitable.

From our first session you gave me a sense of calm and agency back. The breakup didn’t seem like a guarantee anymore, and even if it happened, I could have the relationship I always dreamed of with my SP.

You gave me the tools I needed to calm down and be able to focus.

I have to say, the way you guided me into unconditional love was something I had never experienced before. You were able to put things into words that I could never have reached on my own. I stopped trying to force the relationship and started focusing on my connection with I Am. That changed me far more than any technique I had done before.

I managed to get to the state of basking and relishing in the unconditional love of God.

When my SP would ignore me, I focused on God. When he told me he was going out and wouldn’t even kiss me goodbye, I focused on God.

I kept doing this, even when my mind told me horror stories. I was so scared he would cheat on me and I was being the stupid girl waiting for him at home. I felt strongly while contemplating I Am that I shouldn’t keep entertaining negative stories about my SP, because those thoughts were hurting my own heart more than anyone else’s and he didn’t make my hurt to be broken.

This made it easier to stay in unconditional love, knowing I truly wasn’t alone in it. The more stable I became, the more I saw things change.

The dynamic between us began to change. He became more present, more affectionate. If I was watching television, he’d come and sit next to me and squeeze my leg. If I was cleaning, he’d offer to help and give me kisses. I was receptive to that because I had let go of the old resentment.

He introduced me to his friends and started to include me in his plans.

One night, he had a friend’s birthday party. It was a men only thing. I thought it would be really romantic if he decided to stay with me and the hell with everyone else. It was a fleeting thought.

It happened. The way he made love to me that night, was like he hadn’t seen me in years. I felt incredibly desired, loved, and connected to him. He whispered in my ear and held me the whole night.

Since then, he’s shown the best version of himself.

He falls asleep holding my hand and shows me every day that I matter to him.

The biggest change was not that I stopped having emotions. I still had fear, doubts, and difficult moments. The difference is that I stopped letting those emotions define me.

Thank you for helping me understand that transformation is not about suppressing feelings or pretending to be perfect. Best thing was learning to receive love.