I Wasn’t “That Girl”… Until I Became Her

Everything is going to work out for you. I know that sounds like something people just say, but I actually believe it now, because it worked out for me.

I hope this helps someone, even if you just take one thing from it.

Also, sorry in advance, this might be long. But if you’re trying to manifest a specific person, this is the kind of stuff I wish someone had told me earlier.

For most of my life, I was fine. If a situationship didn’t work out, I could move on. I wasn’t one of those people who got stuck.

This one felt different. I met him and immediately thought, “Oh, this is it.” The funny part is, nothing really happened. We didn’t date, we didn’t even kiss, but the way I was acting, you would’ve thought we had a full relationship.

Looking back, I’m pretty sure he could feel that energy, because he slowly started backing away.

Then he stopped replying. Stopped answering my calls.

The moment that really hit me was one night at a bar. I was there with a friend, and he showed up. He hugged her, then just gave me a polite nod and kept his distance.

That was humbling. I couldn’t spin it into “he secretly likes me” anymore. We’re in our 30s. That kind of behavior is pretty clear.

And then, of course, there was a third party. I found out because, yes, I was stalking. That’s what really sent me over the edge. At that point I knew I needed help.

Here’s what actually made a difference for me:

First, I had to admit I wasn’t okay. I was dysregulated, anxious, and stuck in a pattern I didn’t understand. For a long time I avoided looking at it because I thought it meant something was wrong with me.

But when I finally understood how it was showing up in my life, the constant anxiety, the overthinking, the difficulty with relationships, it honestly made me emotional. I felt relief.

That part was a lot about learning how to be with myself instead of constantly reacting.

Then came the harder part, actually facing the version of me that had been running everything.

I had a lot of shame. Underneath everything, I believed I wasn’t really someone who got to have a good life or a secure relationship. So even when I said things like “I deserve love,” it wasn’t real. It was more like I was trying to convince myself.

There’s a big difference between saying it and actually being able to receive it.

The work we did wasn’t just mental. It was very physical, very real. I had never experienced anything like that before.

After that, working on self-concept felt completely different. I wasn’t just repeating affirmations. I was actually connecting to a different version of myself, not trying to cover up the old one.

That’s when things started to move faster.

Then getting into the state of the relationship didn’t feel forced at all. It actually felt natural, which had never happened to me before. And I will say this, doing the inner work first made all the difference.

I had spent 9 years trying to manifest love. Once I actually understood what I was doing and committed to it, things shifted in 6 months.

Before I was always trying to find certainty in manifestation and looking for int in 3D. Wanting to be sure I would get my outcome. Now I had certainty I was loved and was happy now. I wasn’t waiting for outcomes to confirm anything. Freedom baby!

And life started reflecting that.

Other things started showing up too. Money, opportunities, experiences. It wasn’t just about him anymore. Life in general felt better.

I was living in a completely different state, and from there, things just followed.

Then, of course, he came back.

At first, I’m not going to lie, it felt a bit off. I wasn’t as interested as I used to be. Which makes sense, because I wasn’t the same person anymore.

Meanwhile, he was trying a lot.

At one point, he texted me asking for a pasta sauce recipe. Alfredo sauce. Which, I mean you can Google that.

That’s when I knew something had really changed.

In my end state, I had been very clear that the man I’m with knows what he wants and chooses me without hesitation. So instead of getting distracted by the random texts, I just stayed with that.

Later that same day, he stopped with the small talk and asked me out properly.

Seeing that unfold was honestly a bit surreal. When I started, it felt so unlikely. But from where I am now, it just feels normal.

If you’re reading this and you feel stuck, I was too. But things can change a lot faster than you think once you stop trying to fix things from the outside and actually shift what’s going on inside. That’s when everything else starts catching up.