I Was Watching Another Woman Get the Life I'd Dreamed Of

The Mentorship

I was young, single, and happy. I'm one of those women who rarely feels attracted to someone. But one day, walking through an airport, I saw a man who stood out from everyone else. It wasn't just the way he looked. It was the energy he gave off. We never spoke. I just saw him from a distance, and I would think about him from time to time. He became a sort of mental picture of the kind of man I wanted for myself.

Two years later, we met and hit it off. It was so serendipitous. One of my friends had met him playing padel, and then he happened to be on a hiking trip with us. The spark was instant, and it was mutual. Of course, he had no idea who I was or that I'd been fantasizing about him for years.

Things moved fast from there. I felt like I was living in a fairy tale. And then, somehow, it all went from glory to shit.

I could sense him becoming distant. I didn't understand why, and the more I tried to figure it out, the more I seemed to give him the ick. One day, he told me he didn't think this was what he was looking for. Even though I'd noticed him pulling away, it still felt like it came out of nowhere. I thought we'd eventually talk about it and work through whatever was happening. But he didn't even think our connection was worth saving, and that tore me up inside.

As if that wasn't bad enough, he met someone else only a month after breaking up with me. He started posting her on Instagram straight away, being more romantic with her than he'd ever been with me. He'd only had one photo of me on his account, and he deleted it.

That was the straw that broke the camel's back. I thought he was far too gone, and I was far too hurt. If it had taken two years to manifest him when there was no old story between us, I couldn't imagine how long it would take now.

I tried to move on. It was hard because, in my heart, I was still faithful to him, even though he wasn't being faithful to me. I went through so much trying to get him out of my head and my heart, but the harder I tried, the more painful it became. I tried to manifest him back, but I had no direction.

I consumed content, bought all the books, and joined paid groups. I gave it everything I had, but nothing was happening.

A year went by, and I saw that he'd gotten engaged to this girl. I wasn't checking. I promise I was following all the rules. It just showed up on my timeline because it was one of his most liked and commented on posts.

She wasn't particularly prettier than me. But he had chosen her, not me.

I'd heard over and over again that circumstances don't matter and that I was God of my reality. But I'd been at this for a year, and my situation was becoming increasingly distressing. I couldn't just pretend that wasn't getting to me.

I was in over my head and needed help. I knew Paulie's coaching went deep, and that was what I needed. Honestly, I was tired of everyone telling me to just ignore the third party. I'd done that, and she was the one getting the ring, not me. I needed to go deeper because surface level stuff was making me depressed.

We got into emotional revision pretty quickly because I couldn't hold it together anymore. It felt like such a relief to finally let all that pain out. Three wounds in, he texted me.

I was shocked. Things were finally moving!

But he confirmed that the third party was still in the picture and that the wedding plans were still on. I felt rejected all over again. He told me how much he missed the sex and that we should get together one last time before he got married. Somehow, that felt even worse than being in no contact.

Still, I now had some evidence that this work was doing something, and I wasn't going to give up. After talking things through with Paulina, I decided to stay in contact with him. I acted as though I wanted to see him, but I wasn't going to meet up with him unless I felt good about it.

We kept doing emotional revision, and I threw myself into my relationship with God. I really want to give Paulina her flowers here. I texted her constantly with endless questions about the metaphysical system, the Bible, and how all of this works. She always gave me detailed answers. She knows her stuff.

At one point, I started worrying that my SP would get suspicious if I kept putting off seeing him. I finally said yes, but at the last minute, he got sick and had to cancel.

That brought up a huge fear of being rejected or treated as second best. It led to one of the deepest revision sessions I'd ever had. I could see the old man so clearly, and I felt repulsed. It was like an illusion about who I was suddenly broke. Something shifted in a way I can't fully explain.

After that, I started experiencing a depth of love I'd never known before.

I was still conflicted, though. I wanted to see my SP, but I didn't want to be with him while he was still with the third party. And the wedding was getting closer with every passing day.

Paulie helped me come up with a hallway state so I could feel comfortable as we continued the work. It was a mix of the siren state and something more angelic. I no longer felt like I was competing with another woman for him. I could see him differently, and I felt like I could accept him and love him without feeling like I was settling for second best.

We eventually met up, and I was present, fun, and flirty without even trying. We kissed, but it felt more like I was giving him a gift than him putting me in a position where I had to compete for him.

He became quite obsessed with me after that. I finally felt ready to tackle the last of my wounds and go all in with unconditional love.

Paulie then guided me inward, and we constructed a scene together. It was incredibly simple, but it hit all the right spots.

My biggest problem had always been feeling like an outsider to his world. I felt like I didn't belong, and I had to watch him give another woman the life I'd dreamed of having with him. That was the part that hurt the most.

By then, though, I'd tasted the depths of God's love, and it was intoxicating. I didn't want to lose that feeling. So I kept imagining from that place.

The scene was me looking at a bathroom counter and seeing all our toiletries together. That was it. I was inside his life, sharing it with him. I'd look at the counter, put his toothbrush back beside mine, and loop those few seconds over and over again.

Here's something I learned from doing this.

Before, I thought I had to focus on the visuals. But the journey inward made me much more aware of the feeling of a state and the thoughts that came with it.

When I imagined that scene, it wasn't just about what I was seeing. It was also the burst of energy in my body, the feeling of appreciating our life together, and the thoughts that came naturally from that place.

It was, "That's really my man."

And if he triggered me, I didn't need him to be in the scene to get back to that feeling. I could return to the scene and reconnect with the version of myself who was already living that life.

I did this for about three months. My trust in God grew, and I became more peaceful. I was excited to see how things would unfold, but I wasn't clinging to an outcome anymore. In the 3D, his presence was still bittersweet.

I'd become grateful to have him in my life, even though things weren't exactly how I wanted them to be yet. Our relationship had developed, and I could tell he genuinely cared about me. We'd only seen each other three times and had only been intimate once.

Eventually, I naturally stopped imagining the scene and just kept having conversations with God. I think I'd reached a point where I didn't feel like I had to keep doing something to make it happen.

We were supposed to meet up one day. The wedding was two months away, and I thought maybe things weren't going to happen the way I wanted them to. But I was at peace. The air felt still that day.

When he arrived at our meeting spot, he kissed me like we were in The Notebook or something. His intensity caught me completely off guard.

He told me he wanted to be with me, that he wanted to be only mine, and kept asking me if I understood what he was saying.

I don't know why, but I suddenly became very practical. I asked him what about all the money he'd already paid for the catering and the venue. He said none of that mattered and that going through with the wedding would actually cost more than cancelling it now.

He told me before he told her.

I was scared he might take it back or change his mind, but I remembered that there is no punishment for having bad emotions. I prayed a lot that night. I needed to bask in and relish unconditional love so I wouldn't fall back into my old patterns.

He told her the next day, and then he came to my place. He said his parents were a bit upset, but he was sure that once they met me, they would understand. The way he looks at me is like I'm his north star.

He is better than he was the first time around, and so am I. I'm experiencing a completely different version of him and a kind of love I didn't even know existed before.

Paulie, you have changed me and my entire understanding of love and reality. Thank God I came across your content.

I found you at a time when I couldn't afford coaching. If anyone is in that position, everything you need is in her free content. I just couldn't see it before.

This love is available to everyone.