I Thought I Was Stuck in This Story Forever

Break The Loop:

It feels strange to write this because I’m so different from the person who started this process. But I need to tell you why it all started and who I was. I’ve experienced changes in myself and my life that I thought were impossible.

I have been through a lot in my life. I didn’t understand how deeply it had affected me. I thought I just had bad luck in love and money.

Things had never been great, but by the time I got coaching they looked worse than ever. I had stopped trying to manifest my specific person because it had gone horribly wrong. I don’t think anything I did was working. He was willing to use me at his convenience and only wanted me around when he had nothing better going on.

I had fallen into depression, and going to work felt heavy. I didn’t have any friends who were willing to hear me out anymore. They had become distant because I refused to leave the harmful dynamic with my SP, and they were tired of listening to my problems.

I didn’t believe coaching would help me, but Paulina looked so warm in her videos. I thought that at least I’d have someone to listen to me.

But I was in for a pleasant surprise.

She really understood what I was going through and pointed out the pattern. And the best part was that she knew there was a way out because of her own story. That gave me tremendous hope.

I followed the instructions she gave me to a T. They were challenging at times, but I was so sick and tired of my old story that I was willing to do the exercises even when I had a million excuses. Looking back, it makes me laugh. I wanted a solution. I wanted to be happy and have my SP. Yet at times I still listened to the excuses. The difference was that I learned to be kind to myself in my own mind.

I was the kind of person who thought I could never change, but I did. Paulina’s methods are amazing because you don’t even know exactly how they work, but they do.

I learned how to regulate myself and could see my old patterns clearly. I was able to actively choose not to give in to them. I started to feel lighter and happier, and I began to believe that the love I had always wanted could actually happen for me.

From there I applied contemplative affirmations, the question exercises, and the energy ball exercise. These exercises felt fun. Before, affirmations gave me anxiety. I didn’t know how to use them to change me. That’s the biggest thing I learned in coaching. I feel like I can manifest anything now.

What changed first was my perception of my life. Before, I felt trapped in a dead-end job with people I didn’t like while loving a man who didn’t love me back. Then I started to see possibilities. I had the knowing that none of it was permanent, and I could easily remain in the state of answer mode and basking and relishing.

As I became more comfortable with the contemplative affirmations, things started to manifest quickly. Free coffee, free food, and receiving makeup or perfumes I wanted as gifts, just because.

I met a person who gave me an entry into the industry I wanted. Through that connection I got a new job that gave me purpose and more money.

I did wonder from time to time whether my SP would change and come to me, or whether things were already good enough and I shouldn’t want more.

But Paulina reminded me again and again that this isn’t how it works, and that the immense love we find in relational faith means there is no such thing as “you’ve had too many good things already.”

I kept enjoying the end and living from that state. I loved the way Paulie taught me to bring it into the body. In the past, when I had tried this, I was only changing my thoughts and second-guessing everything, as if I were trying to convince an external power that I already had what I wanted.

I naturally dropped the affirmations because I woke up in the feeling of the end every single day, and it stayed with me throughout the day.

One day I was leaving for work. An attractive coworker was with me because we were carpooling. As we were walking to the car, my SP approached us. I felt a little bit of glee that he saw me on the arm of another, more muscular man. My SP had come to see me, but I told him I’d see him after work.

It was hard to focus throughout the day. I kept wondering whether this was finally the end unfolding.

When I got home, he came by. This man was heartbroken.

He asked me why I had disappeared. I told him I hadn’t. I had simply stopped initiating because I didn’t like how I felt doing all the work.

The conversation became intense, and then he went quiet. He told me he was processing everything.

That was nerve-wracking.

Then he started talking again and said something I never thought I would hear from him:

“You’re right.”

From that moment on, he has made sure to show up differently. I can see that he has matured and truly treasures our relationship.

And the lack of financial stress has made everything easier.