I Ruined It And He Blocked Me Everywhere

After months of trying to manifest my person and “not reacting,” everything kind of hit me at once. All the emotions I had been holding back came up, and I remember wanting to hurt him with my words. We had only gone on one date, but it felt really good. Then he pulled away, and I got upset.

That date felt like things were finally going right for me, and I didn’t want to lose it. I think that’s why I reacted the way I did. I wanted him to understand how he was making me feel.

Instead, he stopped talking to me completely and blocked me everywhere.

At first I thought it would just be temporary. Like he just needed space and would come back. But as more time passed, I started to panic. I checked his profile from fake accounts, reread our conversations over and over, and kept going back and forth between regret and thinking maybe he deserved what I said.

It felt like I had no control over my emotions anymore, which was the worst part.

I just wanted to feel better and have him back.

After two years of being blocked, I finally decided to get help. I’ll be honest, after my first coaching session I was actually annoyed. I thought I was going to get some kind of technique to make him unblock me, but instead we talked about my state and how avoiding my feelings was keeping me stuck. I didn’t want to hear that at all.

So for a while I kind of went in circles. I made excuses, tried other things, avoided doing the actual work. And every time nothing changed, I would end up feeling desperate again.

Eventually I just gave in and did what I had been avoiding.

What really surprised me was when memories started coming up. With emotional revision, you go into those moments and actually feel what you didn’t allow yourself to feel before. It’s uncomfortable, but it changes how you see everything.

I started seeing how I had been accepting very little and convincing myself it was enough. I used to think I was just overly emotional or reactive, but looking back, it felt more like pain. Like I was so far from feeling loved that anything felt better than nothing.

Deep down, I really didn’t believe I was someone who could be loved.

Seeing that clearly was hard. But it also made things make sense.

I realized I had been living from that belief the whole time, and it was showing up in my reality. I actually felt sad for myself for believing that for so long.

When that started to change, everything else started to feel different too.

Going to the end didn’t feel forced anymore. Before, even when I imagined him reaching out, there was always this underlying anxiety about saying the right thing or not messing it up. I was always looking for signs that he liked me.

Now when I imagined hearing from him, it just felt normal. I’d feel happy for a moment and then go on with my day. It wasn’t something I had to hold onto.

Before, I could feel good during visualization, but the second I stopped, I would drop right back into feeling bad. That stopped happening.

I was doing the practices consistently, focusing more on my state, following what felt good, and just learning how to return to that feeling instead of chasing something outside of me.

Then one day he texted me.I checked all the other apps and he had unblocked me on those too.

He apologized for pulling away, and I apologized for the way I had reacted. Just an honest conversation. We started talking again and eventually hanging out. He told me he had been thinking about me a lot, and that even before everything happened, he had never felt that comfortable with someone.

That part really surprised me. It honestly felt like things had shifted in a way I can’t fully explain, because before that, having a real connection with him felt impossible.

Now things are different. He treats me well. He’s thoughtful in ways I used to wish for, like bringing me flowers just because he knows I like that. And I’ve changed too. I don’t hold things in until I explode anymore. I communicate better and don’t feel like I’m trying to prove anything. We’ve gone on more dates, and things just feel better. It’s going good and the connection keeps growing.