There Was Always Another Girl… Until I Became the One

I started coaching from a very obsessed state. I felt exhausted from imagining and deciding because each time it would lead to disappointment.

Even if I got some movement it wasn’t the full manifestation, so what was the point?

But I also didn’t want to not do anything or not do anything. This caused a lot of panic.

It was a constant noise in my head. 

The toughest thing was that there were multiple third parties. If they broke up and I thought things were working out, there was always a new girl.

I felt like there was no way out, I was just that girl that no man would ever choose.

And this might seem silly in the big scheme of things, but all of that stress was making me gain weight. I hated the way I looked.

The metaphysical teachings changed my life. I could see how circumstances didn’t matter. My heartbreak came from every version of me that had always felt second place.

The first thing we did was create safety so I could process the rejection and chronic shame. I learned inner structure and created structure in my life. This allowed me to not ruminate anymore and make sure I was doing things that were nursing to my soul.

Once I was connected to my body I applied emotional revision. I felt like I was in a melodrama. I cried all the tears I had suppressed. I looked forward to my emotional revision sessions each day because it bought me clarity and relief. This really helped me with my concept of self.

As I was going through the memories, my perspective on me changed. I could see myself so clearly and feel good about who I was.

In parallel, I did a lot of meditation and going inward using the interior castle model, and experienced oneness with God.  I know people want to know what the different exercises are so they can do it themselves, but this was more of a guide and Paulie would guide me through each stage depending on my own views.

In the center I found the love of a lifetime and the version of me that was already chosen. I was fully in the knowing, the Sabbath. It truly is fulfilment, so much so there were said I forgot I wanted him.

When I would remember I just felt thankful. Going through this process took me about three months.

The structure we created in the beginning evolved, and now I had a full life I loved and that I could sustain. I got some other manifestations during that time that just wouldn’t manifest before. The main thing was my health improving and my side hustle taking off.

As I was working I got an email from him. I thought it was strange that he didn’t text me.

The email was long and expressed his feelings. He did a full mea culpa, saying things like before he was a bad man that used women. That he knew I liked him but that I was too good for him and he didn’t want to hurt me, and that he had gone through deep change and was a good man now, responsible, capable of holding himself to a higher standard.

It was strange and nice at the same time. It gave me closure on what had gone down in the past even though I didn’t need it anymore. I thought he was a little dramatic, but I enjoyed it.

He wanted us to catch up over the phone. We talked for three hours that day. He had gone through a lot as I was going through my transformation. When we change, everyone changes.

I told him I had changed a lot too, and that if he wanted to try something I expected romance, roses and chocolates. He said he was excited to be that man.

We had our first kiss and since then things have been going great. My state has reflected beautifully.

Something important is that through this process what freaked me out the most was that for me to have my end he had to change, and I didn’t know if that was possible. I didn’t trust he would change to be honest. But Paulie taught me I didn’t have to trust that things would happen, I just had to trust God within. That´s what carried me all the way to the end.