Something Took Over Me and Guided Me To the End

I had been crushing on a man that felt like “the one”. We weren’t together. Every interaction felt confusing and I always had to initiate and put in effort. I spiraled thinking it was all my fault, that if I could only fix myself then he’d want me.

The harder I tried the worse it got. My life felt small, heavy, like just getting by. I didn’t realize how stuck I was until you showed me my blind sports. How I was emotionally, seeing the layers of myself that were keeping me trapped, understanding the old man programming.

While doing this, I would still reach out to him sometimes just to take the edge off. Something amazing I learned in your coaching was the difference between lack and love. Reaching out to him was me being scared of my false identity, trying to prove to myself I was not that while deeply agreeing that I was in fact loveless.

I started to notice how even if he responded I felt good for a little while, and then I needed more and more and it was never enough. I felt silly with how much of a slave I was to the 3d.

The version of me in love, I didn’t always know what she was looking at, but I knew she was contemplating something perfect, that she didn’t need to change it. One day it landed, that what was contemplating was God.

My reality shifted when I let go of shame, the belief love had to be earned, and the constant need for external validation. I was me again, living from the presence of unconditional love, faith and trust in the process.  That’s when the crazy 3d movement started.

He reached out being genuinely attentive. I was a little bit surprised. It felt like I had stepped into a different world. At this point I hadn't talked to this man for months, and he was talking to me like we were soulmates. He wanted me to be his plus one for a theater show and I declined because I was sick that week.

He asked if I needed anything and I think I was too in the moment or something took over me. I joked that I could use a sexy nurse or a cook. He offered to come over with food.

What the hell??!?! I said no. I looked like a wet chicken and he and I weren’t that close. How could he go from acquaintance I had a crush on to all of a sudden wanting to see me when I’m sick? Wasn’t he worried he would catch something?

All of these thoughts were going through my mind. I let it go and went back to being sick in peace. Three days later he called me again to check in on me and invited me to the movies. He pulled the stretch and reach move!!!

I was sweating and not from a fever this time. I got really nervous but your voice came in my head with “this feels good, but what feels better?”. I could get back to the end, and trust and let it flow.

He wanted us to go to his place after. I told him I’m not that kind of girl. He tripped over his words trying to apologize. It was adorable!!!

Again, this other force took over me. I kissed him, told him I really liked him and that we could see if there’s something here. It was like I was out of my body looking at myself saying those things. What in the world?

That’s how everything unfolded and now we are in a relationship. I used the same teachings to get a peach booty btw. He’s very happy with that manifestation.