He Came Back When I Stopped Trying

I manifested my person with pure persistence the first time. It took 3 years but he was finally my boyfriend. But the relationship wasn't great. I was anxious all the time and I had abandoned myself to try to keep him. I could see my fear of abandonment pushing him away. One day he told me he had been thinking and he believed we weren’t right for each other.

What made it especially hard was he wasn’t the type to make decisions lightly. He’s very grounded and doesn’t act on a whim. Once he made a choice he would never go back on his word. He left me and I couldn’t see how in the world he’d come back.

During coaching I was very honest with Paulie and she was honest with me. We worked on my anxious attachment, my nervous system, my shame about how I’d been showing up in relationships.  I realized I had been lying to myself all these years. Real manifestation, she showed me, is simple. It comes from a place of being fully loved, not from fear or pushing.

I started to imagine from that place of security. I didn’t focus on him specifically, just a scene: a man holding my hand, an engagement ring on my finger. I would loop that scene, not because I had to, but because it felt amazing. Sometimes I’d quietly wonder, what if it’s him? And it shifted the energy just enough to feel playful. I wasn’t forcing anything. I was living from that flow.

About five months later, he reached out. He said he’d been thinking about me and missed me.I didn’t know if he meant it in a friendly way or in a let’s get back together way. I felt confident enough to handle wherever he was at and curious enough to want to find out.

He reflected a convo I had imagined once. He acknowledged he was not the type to change his mind but he couldn't shake the idea of a future together.

I manifested my person with pure persistence the first time. It took 3 years but he was finally my boyfriend. But the relationship wasn't great. I was anxious all the time and I had abandoned myself to try to keep him. I could see my fear of abandonment pushing him away. One day he told me he had been thinking and he believed we weren’t right for each other.